Days 65-67

Post date: Sep 1, 2016 11:53:39 AM


Light bulb moment in my life: "Why do you care?" My husband asked me that the other night and I just shrugged it off. I care because it's important to care. HOWEVER, I should not spend time worrying about what people think about me. Not everyone is going to like me and that's ok. I've done things in the past and that's where those events need to live.

In taking care of myself, I need to do just that. I need to set boundaries and limits that make sense in my life. Yes, that disrupts the history of me being a doormat and letting people walk all over me, doing things when I didn't want to, and doing things when I shouldn't have. Like when my children are rude or condescending, I don't have then run to Target to get them something. In fact, I can turn the car around, on the way to the store and go home and read a book or watch a Korean drama, or write a blog posting. I don't have to do what my children want, just because I'm their mom.

In fact, respect of myself will go farther in the long run, than me not respecting myself. I can't change the person I was. People constantly bringing up my mistakes, crushes me and it doesn't need to anymore. I've accepted what I have done, I've said I'm sorry, I'm moving on. I can't make people forgive me, nor can I grovel and beg for it. I want to get better. I'm walking down the right path again. Not skipping, but still moving forward.

My son wrote me this amazing email about how he loves me, even though it hasn't been easy. He said so many beautiful things, I created a video. His email began:

Hi mom,

I'm sorry it's been an exhausting week. Congrats on the two month mark! I am sorry it is hard.You were and are my mom. That's all I really care about. Life is an adventure with you and while it doesn't always take the turns I wanted to doesn't mean I didn't enjoy it overall, or learn from it.

Enjoy the rest: