Days 310 - 317

Post date: May 10, 2017 12:46:13 PM


I've spent some time pondering on what it means to be in introvert and what it means to be an extrovert. I finally came across a definition I really like. I consider myself to be an introvert. Yes, I love being in the center of a crowd and teaching a group of people, but to be honest, it is exhausting. I find my time to recharge when I am alone. I can reset and get energy for the next day, simply by having "me" time. As a codependent, I would always get my high by being around others, doing for others, and getting others to do what I thought they should do. It was exhausting. I was exhausted. I felt like I was spinning in circles with my foot nailed to the ground.

I never took time for myself. I didn't think I deserved it. I owed it to myself to stay busy. If I was busy, I was happy. The more I did the better life was. What a crazy thought that is.

I get frustrated when I don't take time for myself. Sometimes I need a nap. As an introvert, teaching eight hours a day is exhausting. I need time to just recharge. Now that doesn't mean I go off and pretend I don't exist for the entire night, it means I do what I need to feel like I can be the best person I can be.

A lot can be said for learning to say no. I do not have the time and energy to do everything. I am not the end all be all of life. I am me. I have the same 24 hours in a day as everyone else. My family comes before work. My family is so very important to me. I lost a part of that when I would pretend I didn't exist. I didn't understand why I needed me time.

I just have to say I'm amazed at how much I am learning. I'm enjoying my CoDA meetings with my family. Life is about building healthy relationships. It is about learning new ways of connecting, every day and laughing often.